Year '11

It was a time of highs and lows. In the beginning, things were promising. The first month was almost a tribute to a single character and her origins. Vera was her name. One of my oldest original characters according to my world's lore, she had until then only had a single pencilled sketch, back when I was an uninspiring anime artist. It was good to finally draw her again after so many years...

(And just so everyone knows, the next paragraph talks about my computer, which I named Nimaera, ever since I first switched her on and our love/hate relationship began. >_>)

Then disaster struck. The months that followed were stressful. Art became a chore as my dear Nimaera lost her wits and could turn even the most humblest and caring of men into an abusive lover. She made me question my resolve for art. She almost made me deactivate my DA account (among other reasons) when the stress she caused estranged me from my lifelong efforts to be creative... She made me abandon the thoughts of making money from it and helped me turn down several commissions when drawing anything required agonising stubbornness and the kind of muse that made me want to persevere while ignoring my sanity. I had no such muse and have ever since been trying to find her. That was until one kind soul's patience and caring made me want to draw despite all.

Ginny. She kept me from going insane for a while. No one else seemed to care, so I drew for her. It was worth it. She was really the only one who genuinely inspired me to work on my writings, too, sacrificing her time to encourage me to flesh out ideas and reinvent others that would herald the dawn of two lovers who were originally not destined for much in life together. Ginny made me very determined to write more lore for Klaus and Shae, who she loved and inspired me to develop their relationship beyond one chapter in their lives-- a chapter many already knew, yet very vague it was.

And so with the nurturing of Klaus and Shae's lore, I wanted to expand it. Seri became a prominent point of interest in May, and I loved drawing her despite my comp's problems.

By June, the musings of a group made me want to dabble in drawing couples. In the year before, the concept actually haunted me to no end, yet the more I thought on it the more I liked drawing intimate art for my beloved characters. Yes, it made me mindful of my own loneliness, yet it became an escape, letting me focus on themes I have yet to experience in life. I doubt that I ever will.

When August arrived, I put on a good show. It is the month where I am my most creative, and drawing for it revolved around Klaus and Shae, yet also fleshing out the Kingdom of Raleigh's backstory. Rhys finally received his own illustration, (GASP!), and I also broke new ground by drawing my first woman with child. To this day, I still have not drawn anything so beautiful and natural in my mind, even though the artwork itself was hardly one of my best. It inspired me to write a great deal of lore on Naithen and Kalyna that I was proud of, although I lost interest for their story when the forums I posted it at received not a single hint of interest in return. For a time, my love for writing lore took a very hard dive because of it, but it did not keep me from being creative for long.

It was Skies of Arcadia month for September. (And most of October!) It was a heck of a lot of fun as I spent hours watching scenes of the beloved Dreamcast game on YT, searching for reference there on things I had in mind. Somehow a new couple was born during it, and the love they got made me inspired to flesh their story out. It even made me tempted to write a fanfic (of all things!), although my interest for it has waned since. It was also at this point that I was finally able to work out the issues I was having with my comp to the point that art was enjoyable for me to draw again. There was nothing stopping me after that. My love for art returned soon thereafter, and for a time you could swear I had this smile on my face that did not belong! My sanity was also returning as well...

Then came November. Ah, November. My Eldar Month.

It was the month that broke many records. It began with certain musings I had with a couple of friends on Steam, after numerous skirmishes and forays we had together for sake of Dawn of War 2: Retribution. I wanted to work on the creation of my original Craftworld and its lore. The rest is history. If 'Ishayr's Three' was a sign of things to come, it did not prepare me for what I was to expect after unleashing that first illustration of Myar! The attention it received still leaves me flabbergasted, for not only has it become my most beloved work according to the masses, it also singlehandedly defeated my only two works that have received Daily Deviations in the 8 years I have been here. So it goes without saying that the events that transpired in November were mind-blowingly inspiring. This coming from someone who had long ago surmised that none of his works would ever be truly welcomed here at DA...

Then came along December. It was a hectic month. It had great ups, but also miserable downs. The events that took place in November kept me alive with inspiration as I returned to my growing lore revolving around Klaus and Shae. There were a couple of firsts for this month as well. I drew my first noble house banner, my first castle... and cookies! I loved life. Every day was a gift I woke up to, but as things drew closer to Christmas, certain people brought me back down to reality as I lost my way and fell back into my usual realm of loneliness. I have ever since been feeling sorry for myself, yearning things I have never had. The search for a stable muse, a woman, has never been clearer in my heart now, yet such is life. I am used to being alone, even though I despise the very notion.

The year was 2011, and I will miss its first and last few months, to be sure. Here's hoping this year will be kinder to me, though.

(By default it should be remarkably better, just so long as my comp doesn't have anymore bloody erratic mood swings! XD)

Artworks, Etc - © Kristopher P. Love